The Highly Sensitive Person
When You’re Highly Sensitive
The world is not experienced in the same way for everyone, and for Highly Sensitive People, the differences can feel enormous. Although these differences have both positive and negative consequences, the negative ones are oftentimes highlighted — by others and by yourself.
It can be easy to question yourself, criticize yourself, and shame yourself for being different. But what you may not yet realize is these differences have a beauty all their own.
What is a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)?
The differences among highly sensitive people are as varied as the colors in the rainbow, and yet there are four core themes that define an HSP, organized by the acronym DOES. These are:
Emotional Reactivity
As with most things, HSPs experience their emotions deeply, both positive and negative. This means that the depth of their sadness and anxiety coincides with the depth of their joy and gratitude. HSPs also tend to experience more empathy for others, and some may even feel what other people are feeling just by being in their presence.
Sensitive to Subtle Stimuli
HSPs are highly observant and tend to notice subtle details and changes that others may never notice. They are able to take subtle details into consideration when making plans, arranging spaces, or interacting with others, which allows them to accommodate their needs and those of others well.
Depth of Processing
HSPs tend to be thorough and think things through in a great level of detail. They often make decisions slowly as they attempt to consider all aspects of a problem and potential consequences before coming to a conclusion. HSPs are highly aware and considerate of their impact on other people. They often have a rich inner world and tend to be very creative.
Overstimulation
Because of their sensitivity to sensory information, HSPs can become easily overstimulated. Crowds, loud noises, strong smells, uncomfortable clothing, timelines, and too much touch can all be experienced as significant stressors that lead to overstimulation. HSPs tend to find respite when alone or amid quiet, as these things allow their nervous system to recalibrate and their stress level to recede.
Facts About Highly Sensitive People
- HSPs make up approximately 15-20% of the population
- There are just as many HSP men as there are women
- HSP is not a diagnosis, it is a temperament or trait that people are born with
- There are both introverted and extroverted HSPs
Strengths of The Highly Sensitive Person
There are SO MANY wonderful things about HSPs! They make great friends. They are thoughtful and considerate to others. They are good listeners. They notice details others miss. They appreciate the little things. They come up with solutions to big and small problems. They can use their senses to detect problems. They enjoy deep conversations. They have high emotional awareness. They are generous. They strive for fairness. They can empathize with others. They are insightful. They are creative. They are self-reflective. They crave meaning. They are observant. They are attentive to others’ needs. They are intuitive. They make great leaders.
Common Challenges for The Highly Sensitive Person
OVERSTIMULATION
The most common challenge experienced by HSPs is feeling overstimulated. Because they are so sensitive to what is happening around them, that can quickly contribute to their stress and over-arousal. And when this happens (as it does when anyone experiences stress and over-arousal), HSPs can respond in maladaptive ways.
EMOTIONAL ABSORBTION
HSPs not only notice the feelings of others, but they often feel the feelings of others. This can be quite draining, especially when the people around them are frequently displaying intense emotions, or when they are unable to find the quiet space they need to recharge
FEELING MISUNDERSTOOD
Because 80% of the population is NOT an HSP, they often don’t understand the world of the HSP. They may misinterpret an HSP’s need for alone time as them being antisocial, or perceive their overstimulation as anger, or question the HSP’s efforts to reduce the source of stimulation.
SELF-CRITICISM
HSPs often go through life feeling different, because they are, in fact, different. Unfortunately, these differences are often described negatively by others, leading the HSP to internalize critical messages and contribute to feelings of shame.
What Happens in Therapy for Highly Sensitive People?
The range of challenges that leads a highly sensitive person to therapy ranges greatly. Sometimes there are experiences calling an HSP to therapy that have nothing to do with their temperament (experiences such as trauma, guilt, depression, anxiety, relationship problems, or more). For other HSPs, the thing that brings them to therapy is their challenges in managing the HSP characteristics themselves. No matter what leads them to therapy, HSPs have the most successful experiences when the therapy is able to adapt to their unique needs.
How is Therapy Adapted for the Highly Sensitive Person?
In my work with HSPs, there are a number of components I often incorporate throughout the treatment, such as
- Identifying and responding to stimulation that contributes to an HSP’s over-arousal during the session
- Working to identify the sources of over-arousal throughout an HSP’s life and collaborating to identify opportunities to reduce that arousal or find time for reprieve
- Providing space for the intense emotions experienced by HSPs
- Working to undo any harmful messages around those emotions and appreciating their value
- Offering space to explore and gain understanding for the “why” questions that HSPs so frequently have
- Working through negative messages around the HSP trait that have contributed to low self-esteem, guilt, shame, depression, or anxiety
- Building self-confidence
Your Highly Sensitive Therapist
Before starting therapy, most prospective clients want to have a general idea of who they’re going to be in the room with, and this need is likely even more salient for highly sensitive clients.
As a highly sensitive person myself, I have my own lived experiences with both the positive and negative sides of the HSP trait. I knew even as a young child that I was different from the majority of the people around me, but I couldn’t quite understand it. It wasn’t until having my first child, and trying to understand her unique challenges, that I was introduced to Elaine Aron’s work The Highly Sensitive Child (and subsequently The Highly Sensitive Person). While reading those books, I remember feeling as though I was being given the most all-encompassing hug as Dr. Aron’s words rang through to my soul.
It is my pleasure to now work with other HSPs in helping them effectively cope with their unique challenges and embrace their many gifts.
Have More Questions?
Finding the right therapist is always important, but this is especially true for Highly Sensitive People. I invite you to ask any questions that are still on your mind or take a few minutes to see if we click.
Additional Areas of Focus:
- difficult childhood experiences
- trauma therapy
- parenting stress
- therapy for guilt
Get In Touch
Call
(949)-415-8807
drdanabasu@gmail.com
Location
Serving clients throughout California
Hours
By appointment only